Friendly attitude: formation and development
The formation of friendly relations is an importantstage of becoming a person as a person. Without communication and close comrades, people begin to feel oppressed and useless. A friend is a support, a personal psychologist and a reliable partner. However, it is very difficult to maintain friendship, because it, like any other relationship, requires participation. Selfishness, mercantile spirit and composure will be disastrous for her. To build friendships and keep them throughout life, it is recommended that you follow the advice of psychologists.
Accept friends as they are
Everyone knows that he has certaindisadvantages, but nothing can be done about it. Even if the person himself is not able to correct in himself some of the nuances, then to demand from him a complete change in his habits or change of views at least cruelly and selfishly.
To build a full-fledged friendly relationship, it is important to accept a comrade with all his minuses or just stay with him in a friendly relationship.
Choose your friends as equals
This recommendation sounds pretty cruel, but it'strue. The fact is that people who differ in intelligence, temperament and level of development, can not be friends for long. Usually such relationships remain at one point and seldom develop beyond rare meetings and a short joint rest.
The fact is that a strong person sooner or laterwill understand that he literally "pulls" his friend on himself. At first it will not result in serious conflicts, however in a few years this situation will start to irritate both. The same applies to intellectual abilities. A wise person can not maintain friendly relations with someone who is much inferior to him in development for a long time. Such relationships are doomed to failure.
To be able to listen
To build a long-term relationship,learn to speak not only about yourself, but also to be interested in what is happening in the life of a friend. Nobody likes people who constantly complain about their lives and are constantly waiting for support, giving nothing in return.
It is necessary to understand that some people store their experiences inside - so it's easier for them to survive adversity. Other people need to talk out, because that's the only way they can feel relief.
Do not be friends with threesome
In friendship, as in love, the third is superfluous. No matter how strong the affection of the three friends, the connection of two of them will always be stronger. In addition, psychologists have long proven that good friendships can exist only between two people.
If a person is lucky, and he immediately has 2 best friends, then it is worth talking to them separately, so as not to make the third party jealous.
In large companies, the phrase often sounds: "We are like one family," but this is far from the case. In such "communes", friendship lasts exactly until people unite something common. For example, all have no children, spouses, etc. Once a person in the company changes in life, most likely all his companions turn their back on him.
Avoid psychological dependence
It is very important to understand that in the process of developmentfriendly relations, each of the partners will have a change in marital status, status, place of residence and much more. Girls and young people very often complain about their comrades, saying that they moved away from them after the wedding or the birth of a child.
Do not confuse the concept of "friendship" and "love." A friend does not have to devote all his time and attention to a friend, he can and should have a personal life.
According to statistics, men are more exposedpsychological dependence on friends, because of this, they often have quarrels in the family. Putting friendship first is a big mistake, as companionship must carry positive energy, and not be a burden for life.
Do not drag out conflicts
Friendship is a very subtle alliance that is easyYou can destroy only a few rash words, thrown in the heat of resentment. However, one must understand that any conflict is more difficult to resolve if it is too tightened. We should try to talk about problems right after they arise. If the quarrel was very serious, you should cool down a little and talk with your friend the next day.
According to psychologists, it is best to allowconflict situations no earlier than 24 hours, but no later than 48 hours. If you pull too long, one of the comrades will start to think that for a second friend their relationship is not so important.
Do not be jealous
Only a true friend sincerely rejoice in successhis friend. If the envy has crept into the relationship, it will destroy everything. Friendly relations are based not only on mutual assistance, but also on the ability to rejoice over the neighbor.
If a person experiences jealousy, then at a subconscious level he will wish evil to his friend. Sooner or later it will lead to the end of friendship.
Is it possible to forgive a betrayal of a friend
Betrayal - this is the most urgent and complex topic in both loving and friendly relationships. In this issue, everything depends on the "gravity of the crime."
If a friend has met with another comrade and has not told you about it, then this can not be treated as treason. Accordingly, and there is nothing to be offended either.
To consider betrayal the fact that a friend has a family, and he now most of the time is with her, is also very stupid and selfish.
If, however, the comrade began to spread false rumorsor framed at work before his superiors, this characterizes him not from the best side. Of course, you can not break off relations at once, but at least you need to talk with the traitor and find out why he behaved this way.
Another important nuance - you can not seek excusesbetrayal. It is necessary to clearly understand that the betrayer once again betrays. In this situation, there are only two options: to forgive a friend and accept him with all his vices or to stop the relationship.
Is there a friendship between a man and a woman?
In this issue, psychologists are unanimous: in such friendly relations one person always experiences warmer feelings. This is due to the fact that at some point a man or woman will begin to see in his companion a sexual object.
Even if the friendly relations betweenrepresentatives of different sexes originated in a distant childhood - this does not mean that these people will experience only platonic feelings for the rest of their lives.
In addition, it is worth considering the fact thatmen and women differently understand the importance of friendship. If a representative of the stronger sex sees a girlfriend in the girl, he will safely tell her about his romantic adventures, will not open the door to her or pay for dinner.
A woman subconsciously perceives herfriend-man as a potential young man. Therefore, this behavior will be offended. To try to build a true sex between friends, it will take a lot of effort.
First, we must immediately agree that as aonly one of the comrades will begin to experience warmer and tender feelings, he must honestly admit it. Secondly, do not be too frank to talk about their love affairs, this topic is best left to the same-sex comrades.
Building a true friendship isA long process that requires many efforts on both sides. The main thing is always to remain sincere with the comrade, not to envy him and not be jealous - then the friendship will last for many years.